And The Alternate Run Of The Show
by theluckyc
Summary: This is my own version of the show 2 Broke Girls where it picks up on season 3. (SOME SPOILERS WILL BE EXPECTED) But nevertheless, since the show is kind of slow in advancing its main storyline (running the cupcake business), I figured I make my own version which focuses on its main storyline. So enjoy!
1. And The Britney Spears Fiasco

As Max was baking cupcakes in their newfound cupcake store location they have discovered in the diner's basement, Caroline was sitting on top of the desk, reading her favorite, outdated Cosmopolitan magazine with Vanessa Hudgens on the cover.

Caroline: Look Max! It says so here that 1 in 10 women who start their own businesses are most likely to fail.

Max: Great. So that '1' person is us because if you ask me, the last person who bought our cupcakes was Sophie, and she doesn't even pay us!

Caroline: Chillax Max! I mean we just found a new location for us to sell our cupcakes. Sure, business is slow but at least we're having progress.

Max: *frosts a cupcake* And we're having no sales so there's no point in having our own location in the first place!

Caroline rolls her eyes and breathes a sigh of relief. She puts down the magazine and walks up to her.

Caroline: Look Max, you really need to have a positive attitude,

Max: *interrupts her* Please do not mention the word 'positive' ever again unless you use it with 'pregnancy test' in the same sentence.

Caroline: I'm serious Max. You really need to believe in our business. I mean there's a reason we got this place. *pauses for a second* Which reminds me, we haven't been able to advertise our new location.

Max: And by "new location" you mean literally a 'new' location as in our old one got forfeited due to unpaid rent and got crashed by a van?

Caroline: I'm saying we should advertise our store in The New York Times!

Max: That's great! We could get our store advertised next to that "Free massage when you buy their hotdogs for $12!"

Caroline: Oh Max! *brings out her cellphone* I'll call my friend Rina. She works for The New York Times, I'm sure we can get her to advertise our cupcake business for us.

Max: Cool ! Can you ask her if she knows the number to that place where they sell $2 waffles?

Caroline: Max, I'm pretty sure those waffles seem unhealthy to me. I mean they're the kind of waffles that are oozy and green.

Max: More like blue if you ask me. Ha? *smirks*

Caroline: Oh hello! Is this Rina de los Reyes from The New York Times? Wait, it's not? Then who is thi—Oh my gosh! Britney! *covers the phone and whispers to Max "It's Britney Spears" *

Max: NO WAY! FOR REAL?!

Caroline: Shh! Hello Ms. Spears! I'm sorry to bother you. You see, I thought this number belongs to my friend Rina –

Max: *whispers* Try to get her to taste our cupcakes!

Caroline: Uhm.. Ms. Spears! I thought this number belonged to my friend. We were supposed to get our cupcake business advertised in The New York Times but I was wondering if you wanted to taste our cupcakes?

Caroline pauses for a moment, with a few nods and Uh huh's and ends with a "Thank you so much! I will see you there!"

Caroline: She's going to try our cupcakes!

Max: Oh my gosh! Is this for real !? *jumps in joy*

Caroline: YES! We are going to get famous!

Max: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! Well, second best since the first one involved losing my virgi—

Caroline: Oh my gosh Max! I just realized something.

Max: What? What is it?

Caroline: She wanted us to meet her Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum!

Max: And? What's wrong with that?

Caroline: Look, there's going to be loads of people in there and with Britney Spears in the room, people are going to be fawning over her.

Max: So? She's not expecting other people there for her to sign autographs. She's expecting US there with a cupcake for her taste.

Caroline: Err, not exactly! You see, she told us she was willing to taste the cupcake IF we get her attention.

Max: Seriously?! It's already bad enough we're working our butts off to save our cupcake business.

(The next day at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum)

Britney Spears is in the lobby standing on the platform that was specially made for this event. She is performing her latest single 'Work B!tch' with lots of screaming fans just cheering for her. A few moments later, Max and Caroline arrive on the scene.

Max: There she is! *points to Britney with a paper bag of their Spring Break Maple cupcake on her other hand*

Caroline: And she's looking fine! *dances along to the song*

Max: *giggles* I swear, you really crack me up when you try to dance like a gangster.

Caroline: *lightly pushes her* Oh stop! Look, we need to find a way to get her attention, or at least we try to get her alone and taste our damn cupcake!

Max: Damn! I didn't know you're using the word 'damn' now.

Caroline: Focus Max! We need to think of something that can lure her.

As Britney finishes the song, she greets her fans with a "Thank you!" and heads out to another room. Max and Caroline quickly follow her but a group of guards is standing in the way.

Bodyguard 1: Look, you can't enter here.

Caroline: You don't understand! Ms . Spears personally asked us to meet us here to taste our cupcakes.

Bodyguard 2: I don't think so Blondie!

Max: Look, say whatever you want about her but really, she asked us to meet us up here for a business deal !

Bodyguard 1: Look why don't you guys just run along?

Max and Caroline walks away, Caroline looking frustrated and Max starting to get impatient now.

Caroline: We need to find a way to get rid of those guards.

Max: *grins* Hey, didn't you say that Britney wanted us to get her attention?

Caroline: Yeah?

A few moments later, Britney steps out of the room. It's clear that Max had a plan going on and Caroline knew what she was grinning about. It seems that they were both on the same page and they were just waiting for the right time.

Caroline: *screams* HEY BRITNEY! LOOK AT THIS! *points to Max*

Max: *lifts up her bra to show her boobs*

The bodyguards stare at awe. One faints and the other has his jaw dropped. Britney looks at her chest in shock. But suddenly it turns into a giggle. She walks up to the girls.

Britney: Hey! Nice job! You really DID get my attention.

Caroline: How did you know it was us that you talked to over the phone?

Britney: Well let's just say, it was also my way of getting attention. *winks*

Max: Oh my gosh Britney! I am such a big fan of you! You don't know how much I love you! I used to have a poster of you when I was a child.

Caroline: *looks in shock* Really?! I didn't know that!

Max: That's because it's not true. Kidding aside, we're pleased and honored to show you our cupcakes. *hands the cupcake to Britney*

Britney: *takes a bite* Mhhm! This is so good! Did you guys make them by hand?

Max: Yup! We made them by bare hands… and chest.

Britney: Listen, I'm not a big fan of cupcakes but I just might start on being one. You know, I can actually help you guys sell your cupcake business.

Caroline: Really?! You would do that?! Oh my gosh that would be perfect!

Britney: *snaps her fingers and the bodyguard walks up to her* Can you send these two lovely ladies a calling card? I have a feeling this won't be the last time I'll be seeing the two of them.

Both Caroline and Max smile.

Britney: It was nice seeing you ladies! And good luck with your business! Goodbye! *blows a kiss*

Caroline: Goodbye Ms. Spears!

Max: We love you! *murmurs* not really!

Max: Can you believe we're actually going to be business partners with Britney Spears?!

Caroline: Yeah! *smile disappears* But wait, what if this turns out to be like the Martha Stewart incident? What if this is just another chance of getting our hopes up and to just end up in disappointment in the future?

Max: Look, it will all work out! Besides, *receives the calling card* we have the number to her—Oh dang it!

Caroline: What?! What is it?! *looks at the calling card*

Max: It's a fake calling card. This is just a coupon from *screams* $2 WAFFLES!

Caroline: What?! She completely just tricked us into giving her a free cupcake. I knew she was a frickin' freeloading b!tch.

Max: Look! Just stay positive! Everything will work out! At least we got free waffles!

(Later that night at the wafflehouse)

Max: Wow, you're right! These waffles taste like barf! And my barf even tastes better than this one.

Caroline: I just can't believe we wasted our time into thinking we had a business deal with Britney Spears.

Suddenly, Caroline's phone rings.

Caroline: Hello? Oh my gosh! Ms. Spears! I mean Britney! How's it going? *puts it on loudspeaker*

Britney: Well it turns out my bodyguard accidentally gave you the wrong card. I didn't want you guys to get the wrong impression that I'm a frickin' freeloading b!tch so I figured since I still have your number saved here from your previous phone call, maybe you guys can meet me to give you the card.

Max: Do I have to show my boobs again?

Britney: No. *laughs* You don't have to. I'll send you guys a text regarding the details. I forgot to get your names.

Caroline: I'm Caroline Channing and my friend here is Max Black. We're the owners of "Max's Homemade Cupcakes"

Britney: Cool ! So I guess I'll get my agent to schedule you an appointment. Maybe skip that calling card thing and go straight to an endorsement. How's that sound?

Caroline: ARE YOU KIDDING?! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!

Max: THAT WOULD BE AMAZEBALLS!

Britney: Cool ! So I guess I'll see you guys then. Bye!

Caroline: Bye! *hangs up* Oh my gosh! We're getting an endorsement for Britney Spears!

Both: *screams*

Max: Great! One less job where I have to show my boobs!

-END OF EPISODE -

Current tally: $1310.00


	2. And The Follow Up Call

Max is attending to one table. She's being her usual, sarcastic bitchy self. She was serving an obviously stressed-out college student and her overweight, embarrassing dad. Caroline was at the kitchen doing God-knows-what.

Dad: Yeah, I'll have the extra large cheeseburger and my daughter here will have… perhaps some cheesy bacon fries?

Teen: Ugh dad! Why do you always do this?! I can order for myself!

Dad: I'm sorry sweetie.

Max: *interrupts* Yeah, I feel sorry for your daughter too.

Teen: I'll have a salad and a Vanilla milkshake.

Max: What is this? Italian Johnny Rocket's? We don't serve salad here "sweetie".

Out of nowhere, Han appears and reprimands Max.

Han: Max! We do not speak customers like that. *looks at the customers* I apologize for my "beetchy" and "rood" waitress. *spanks her butt*

Max: *skips in shock*

Han: Go on, apologize to them.

Max: *sighs* I'm sorry for my "beetchiness" and "roodness".

Han: Very good Max. *spanks her butt*

Max: *skips in shock again* Okay you listen to me "beetch" *points her finger to Han* You touch my ass again and I swear my ass will be the last thing your tiny little hands will be touching ever again.

Han: *does a gesture that clearly sends out the message "Okay I'll back off!*

Max: *turns back to the customers* Sorry 'bout that! SHE gets a little lonely here. Anyways, I'll have your order right up.

Max heads to the kitchen when suddenly, Caroline appears from the kitchen door.

Caroline: Max! Listen, I've been trying to call the agent of Britney Spears but she doesn't seem to be picking up. That's the 5th call for the day!

Max: Are you sure you didn't meet each other in a bar only to bring her home to her apartment and end up touching each other only to escape her apartment at 8 in the morning without waking her up? Because most one night stands end up like that.

Caroline: I'm serious Max. I'm starting to doubt that Britney really just used us to get free food. You know, because that's what hot-bodied women do nowadays.

Max: If hot-bodied women use other people to get free food then why do I still have to work?

Caroline: *laughs*

Sophie appears all of sudden, as usual. She was wearing a dark pink sequined dress which was sparkling.

Sophie: Hi girls!

Max: Hey Sophie. Are you here to get your free cupcake?

Sophie: Of course I'm here to get my free cupcake. I'm a hot-bodied woman, this is what I do.

Max: Again, why do I still have to work?

Caroline: Sophie, we need your help. You see we were able to get an endorsement deal from Britney Spears but her agent hasn't been answering her phone.

Sophie: Well let me see that. *grabs the calling card from Caroline's hand* Eliza Bennett, manager-slash-publicist to Britney Spears. Wait a minute! I know this bitch!

Max: WOAH! Easy there!

Caroline: You know this woman?

Sophie: Yeah! I used to be her boss back in Poland. She was a maid, and she stole all my spanks! She's a thief!

Caroline: So Sophie, is there any way you can still contact this person? It's urgent.

Sophie: Lucky for you, I still have her number in my cell. She still owes me for all of the stuff she stole!

Caroline: Thanks Sophie! *writes down the number on her notepad*

Sophie: Oh yeah Caroline, don't forget to ask her about me. I don't even understand why she would steal those spanks when it doesn't even fit her!

Caroline: Sure Sophie. Thanks!

[THE NEXT DAY]

Caroline: *dials at the payphone the number*

It rings for a few times, and then it says the number cannot be reached.

Caroline: It still isn't working! She knows that we're onto her.

Max: Lemme try! *dials the number* Hello?

Caroline: What the?! How come she answered to you and not to me

Max: Shh! Hello? Is this Eliza Bennett, the publicist of Ms. Britney Spears?

Eliza: Yes, this is her. Who's calling?

Max: Yeah, this is Max Black.

Caroline: *interrupts* And I'm Caroline Channing.

Max: Shh! Yeah, we're the owner of Max's Homemade Cupcakes. We met Britney Spears the other day and she tasted our cupcakes. She says she's interested in endorsing our cupcakes.

Eliza: Yeah, I don't think so.

Max: Uh.. excuse me?!

Eliza: I don't remember Ms. Spears telling me that she's interested in engaging a business negotiation with you.

Max: Listen to me you thief! Yeah, that's right! We know your little gig back in Poland!

Eliza: But.. how did you? How—

Max: Zip it! Now, if you don't want your Poland past to haunt you back, I suggest you get us an appointment with Ms. Spears!

Eliza: Err- Right away!

Max: Good! Oh and can you get me some of her memorabilia? I'm planning to have a Britney Spears garage sale! *hangs up*

Caroline: Wow! Great job Max! You managed to get us an appointment.

Max: Yeah, 10 years of rough sex and I can still be able to get what I want.

Caroline: So what do we do next?

Max: I guess we just wait.

Caroline: Alright. Hey! Why don't we present to her a new flavor of our cupcake? You know, we make a new flavor and that way, she'll be the first one to taste it and we can use it as our first advertisement campaign.

Max: Aww! I thought we were going to push through with my boob cake campaign?

Current tally: $1510.00


	3. And The Second Follow Up Call

Max and Caroline are at their apartment. Caroline was using her laptop, looking for new cupcake recipes that they could possibly use for Britney's cupcake endorsement.

Caroline: Hey Max! What about this one? Cherry Pie cupcakes?

Max, who was apparently lying on the bed just reading an old issue of Seventeen magazine, got up and said..

Max: Cherry Pie cupcakes?! That sounds like a name for my vagina!

Caroline: Ooo! What about this one? Butter pecan almond cupcakes? They're pretty easy and I'm sure Britney Spears would like that flavor.

Max: Please! Britney Spears will like anything that makes money out of it.

Suddenly, a loud knock sounds from their door.

Max: I'll get it.

Max opens the door only to hear from Sophie who was wearing a neon green blazer with matching skirt and handbag.

Sophie: HI GIRLS!

Max: Hey Sophie! You look like a highlighter.

Sophie: Yeah, but a sexy highlighter who has a date with hot, rich man tonight.

Caroline: Sophie, aren't you a little bothered that you're dating different men again after recently breaking up with Olegg?

Sophie: Not at all. I'm simply moved on! Why? Is he still talking about me? Did he move on?

Max: I sense a little hypocrisy in here Sophie.

Sophie: Oh hush! I just came by here to get my cupcake.

As Max goes to the kitchen counter to give Sophie her cupcake,

Caroline: Hey Sophie, what do you think of butter pecan almond cupcakes? We're trying to make a new flavor that we're going to present to Britney.

Sophie: Oh wait, did that lying and stealing bitch give you an appointment yet?

Caroline: Yes Sophie. We're just waiting for her to call us back and set us up an appointment.

Sophie: She did what?!

Max: Chillax Sophie. I already threatened her through phone. I even asked her to give us some Britney Spears memorabilia that we can sell for extra cash. I'm expecting some pieces of hair from that fake head of hers after her shaving incident… And I'm talking about her hair from her head not from down there.

Sophie: She's supposed to give you an appointment immediately! *takes out her cellphone and loudly dials the number*

Caroline: Sophie what are you doing?!

Sophie: I'm calling this thief to give you an appointment. Last time she made a promise like this, she promised to pay me back my debt and clearly she hasn't that's why she moved here in NYC: to escape being scratched by my long, polished nails.

Sophie: Listen to me you shoplifting slut! You are going to give my friends an appointment with Britney Spears! …. Yes, this is Sophie, the "Polish troll" that you are trying to avoid. And yes, I am here in New York City to track you down so if you don't give my friends that appointment, that phone will be that last thing you'll be swallowing! Oh, alright. Well thank you buh-bye!*hangs up*

Caroline: So did she say yes?!

Sophie: Well…. No. I guess you'll have to wait a bit more. *immediately takes the cupcake off Max's hand* Bye girls I'll see you later. *immediately heads out the door and shuts it*

Max: Oh well, so much for that threatening phone call.

Caroline: So wait, are we still on with this butter pecan almond cupcakes? It's worth a try.

Max: *sighs while rolling her eyes* Alright, fine! But you have to promise me you'll help me out in making these. It's about time you learn.

Caroline: Deal !

Current tally: $1510.00


End file.
